Angela's Blog

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well in my world, my dysfunctional, blended family have not been the only ones I choose to embrace as family…. it is an ever growing, multi-dimensional, multi-cultural family I choose. It crosses cities, countries and continents. They are my #friendswhoarefamily 
I have parents who love me, spoil me and care about me, I have a full brother, three half brothers and a half sister over two families (both parents remarried and extended their families). I have two brothers who are married and gave me sisters in love. I have a niece and three nephews. (That’s the simplest version of how this actually complex mix fits together).
I married an amazing man, who is one of five, two of my sisters in love are married and have eight children between them.

I love them all.

Yet, I have lived away from my own family and had a very separate life from most of them (due to living in a different country from them for over 10 years), so in adapting I have been adopted into friends families and adopted others myself into mine. I love it, my heart is full and I love my multi-cultural blended chosen family. I love their children, I love their spouses, we have cried together, laughed together, built one another up, carried one another in the tough times. Imagining life without them is…. well I can’t. 

Yet in saying all that….why can I feel so alone and misunderstood? I have to ask, is it them or is it me? And if I allow myself to be honest…. it’s me! I hold people at a distance, I keep the walls up to keep me safe and impenetrable. I control how much emotion can be invested between us, I am the one who is fearful that if I’m completely vulnerable I will never recover or won’t be accepted. 

Rejection is my fear. 

But these people, I know they see through all that, through my facade and they love me regardless. They carry me on my bad days, when I just don’t want to move. They hug me when I cry. They pray with me and point me back to the only one who can give me hope – Jesus. 
It is important to find like minded people who you can do life with, it takes an investment of time and emotions. It causes you to put yourself aside and prioritize others. It means developing your communication and opening your heart and home to others…. but it is worth it. You find gold, where you thought you were buried in mud. You discover yourself and as you journey real life your form deep and lasting friendships that weather time and distance. 
Allow people to come into your world to draw out the best in you and push you to be all you can be? People who point you to Jesus, but walk with you as you go. Then be that person right back. I encourage you to make a decision today to be more open than yesterday with your friends, to build lasting relationships by being vulnerable and pushing through your own fears and insecurities. 
Sometimes when you start building new friendships, they don’t always work out as planned – don’t put up your walls again. Keep your heart open. It’s not easy, but worth it. Pray that God would bring the right people into your world. 
(Photo is of a small number of my international village)